if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
