after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
