im holly from the hills drunk
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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