we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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