btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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