508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she told me i tasted like america
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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