she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
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hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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