She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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