This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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