and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Randomize
