i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
