i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm too high and old for this...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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