Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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