wat bout pragnant strippers??
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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