I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
