you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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