On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It's blow job season.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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