Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
