i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
