Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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