i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
