Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
