TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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