I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
ttyl tear gas
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
