Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
