Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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