Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
