Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
