I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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