I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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