I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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