the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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