sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
