As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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