Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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