We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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