Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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