Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize