i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
