No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Your dad touched me again.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
