We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
