Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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