Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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