If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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