I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
