I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
