the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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