this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
