In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize