Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
