I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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