In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
