is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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