Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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