I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
