He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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