You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
