Did you just see the Batmobile???
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
