What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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