What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
